Funny Names for a Really Dumb Person

Readers' virtually ridiculed names

Adam Gopnik's piece on much-ridiculed names drew a large response from readers lumbered with nominal millstones.

In the piece , Gopnik - whose name in Russian refers to a drunken hooligan - wrote of the dilemma of parents bestowing unusual monikers.

Here are a selection of readers' nearly ridiculed names:

My maiden proper name was "Cockett". Most people in my family unit were known by their surname just considering their friends enjoyed shouting "COCKETT!" across the street. When I was at senior school, in the early on days of internet filters, replies to my emails would often be blocked, equally the first iv letters of my surname were automatically starred out. I practise strangely miss being a Cockett but become a lot less sniggers when introducing myself as a Tizzard although I judge it'southward nonetheless open up to a few jokes.

Sarah Tizzard, Dagenham, Essex

If you lot think near many Chinese surnames, or names, they tin be really confusing. Not just for non-Chinese, just the Chinese too. My anglicised Standard mandarin proper noun is Ho Kit Ying (Ho is my surname), only like any adept ol' Mandarin proper noun, all the syllables can very well audio similar a terminal name. I could be Miss Ho, or Miss Kit or Miss Ying and all 3 actually exist as a surname. So in that location'south the use of "ho" in rap songs to hateful "whore". Suddenly my name sounds like a high class prostitute when I'thousand address as "Miss Ho". That's why I insist all my associates call me Miss Kit, and they're none the wiser!

My surname is Aisthorpe. Most people notice information technology hard to pronounce simply the "Ais" is pronounced equally "Ace". I was told by an Icelandic and a Swedish guy that it means the hamlet of God. I'chiliad quite happy with that. We all come from the Grimsby area.

Keith Aisthorpe, Sibu, Malaysia

"Woolfson" over the telephone - nightmare. "Yes, Woolfson, like son of a wolf. W-O-O-L-F for Freddy-S for Simon-O-Northward." And the worst thing? I come from Portugal where W is hard to pronounce. And my poor brother - Zack Woolfson, he's better known as "Jack Oolsa". Well done mum and dad.

Jessica Woolfson, Cascais, Portugal

My surname, Or, is a phonetic translation of the Chinese. It tin can exist quite a nuisance when bureaucracies recognise it every bit the conjunctive "or", and instead choose my center name (as well Chinese) as my surname. My parents also accept plenty trouble when they have articulation accounts, the names frequently are: "my father's start and eye name OR my mother." Underlining or using all caps only contribute to the defoliation. In everyday usage, I have often have the "Brian or what?" and being in Canada, being asked whether I am related to the hockey bang-up Bobby Orr. Over the years I have learnt to emphasize when pronouncing "Or" then people recognize it as a concluding name.

Brian Or, Toronto, Canada

I'grand Jonny Big, yet I'thousand 5ft 5in alpine. I've always been brusque, just to keep the irony consistent across my life time. My actual outset name is Jonathan, and whilst I realise that adding the words "large" and "jonny" in this country is mickey-taking suicide thanks to the condom euphemism, I prefer being called Jonny to Jon or Jonathan. I've learnt to non be bothered by it and I like to think that for all the reasons my surname gave people a chance to poke fun as I was growing up, that it has made me a lot more than resistant to that sort of affair in the adult world.

My maiden proper name is Kasecamp. I'm told it's High german and means something along the line of "maker of cheese" though I tin't really exist certain. The surname is patently but in existence in this small-scale community in Western Maryland, having been settled past our German ancestors. When I married my married man a few years ago, I took his last name in the hopes that having a shorter but equally as unusual proper noun would make life (and the naming of futurity children) easier. But alas, Bena, it seems, is merely as strange and fifty-fifty more than likely to be mispronounced. (One must assume a 2nd invisible "n" in the spelling to accurately achieve the pronunciation.) Nosotros just cannot win.

Amanda Kasecamp Bena, Frostburg, Maryland, USA

My surname is not unusual just my first proper name sounds like a surname and vice versa. If I had a pound for everyone that thought Pearse was my surname and addressed me as "Ken" thinking they were being matey, well I could have had lots of pounds. A few (educated) will endeavor "'Piers" which is a expert stab, though well-nigh will assume "Percy". I've got no problem with people getting my name wrong, after all it's not very common, I just go bellyaching with people who call up that somehow I've got it wrong and they demand to put me right!

Pearse Kenny, Wotton-under-Edge, Glos

When I was immature I hated my name every bit the overall combination is reminiscent of Nelly the Elephant and led to teasing. Now I am grown up and just graduated in graphic design and I retrieve my name is an nugget that will give me an edge on others.

I retrieve my surname has helped shape my personality. I don't think yous can have a surname like "Everhard" without having a sense of humour! I wasn't the biggest fan of it every bit a kid, but as I've grown upwards I've learned to have fun with information technology, and watch as people try and avert laughing when I tell them!

Dan Everhard, Clevedon, England

Cold callers mostly ask for Mr Roswell, very convenient as I just say he doesn't alive here. Overseas callers seem to do meliorate, I think they liken it to Rassul as a base for the proper name. I've been called the obvious like Russell only the most obscure was Groundsell.

Tony Rowsell, Hartlepool, Britain

My surname is Erect. No "southward" on the cease or "x" to make information technology seem less rude. Simply plain one-time Cock. It was the bane of my life when I was in secondary school - the source of much laughter and ribald jokes. Character building I am told - just at the fourth dimension merely felt like bullying. And even at present - no-one believes it tin can be but Cock so I am often Cocks, Cox or fifty-fifty Colk. I have a cyber-marriage to my young man (whose name is Fullwood - no run a risk of hyphenating those two names) as Facebook refused to accept this was my surname and thought I was being rude. Hey-ho it's part of my identity now and i wouldn't modify it!

Kathryn Cock, Bodmin, Cornwall

My proper name is a constant crusade of humour in my electric current task as a prison officeholder (Cosh 'em). However, I was previously in engineering and had cause to visit my namesake town of Cosham in Hampshire where I attended an appointment to notice the chief engineer's name who I came to see was a Mr Kickham and his deputy a Mr Basham (I kid you not). Imagine the mirth at reception when I booked in - Cosham, Kickham and Basham.

Neb Cosham, Lowestoft, Suffolk

Every bit yous can run across my name is a bit fishy. Was a nightmare as a pocket-size kid. One time my mum tried to con me by saying the other kids laughed at it considering they were jealous. I thought "mum I'thou eight, I'1000 non stupid, thats not true". But yous get used to it and it kinda toughens you up a chip. When I was in the ground forces, my nickname was Billy after Billy the Fish, a cartoon character in a certain adult humour comic. I've been living in Denmark for the last 15 years now and when I say my surname to a Dane they don't even bat an eyelid, even if you tell them it'south a fish

Stewart Trout, Ringsted, Denmark

Not the original family name which, was but Nutt, but an attempt at social elevation around 1900. The addition of "Van" being a artificial claim to Former Dutch New Amsterdam aristocracy. Why on earth didn't they just change the "Nutt" flake? A question that still haunts those of us that bear the curse of this dreadful and hard to pronounce surname.

Robert Van Nutt, New York Metropolis, The states

My name has been a stumbling block for years! Despite being British born and bred, my parents parents opted to give my brother and I names that reflected our Ashanti heritage. I suppose I got off lightly with "Kwadjo Aboagye"; my brother has had to deal with the epithet of "Nana Kwame Adu Twum Aboagye". The name "Aboagye" literally means "animal, get!" I have often re-interpreted this as "become the creature" or even "hunter". Indeed, in more recent years, I have truncated my first name to but "Jo" just and then I generally then get mistaken for a girl: weird for a 6 pes, 17 stone blackness guy with dreadlocks!

I still become the jokes, particularly around events or party invites. Merely the stick I got was worse at schoolhouse. At uni my friends delighted in referring to me as Cumming of Dorking. Also, my mother's maiden name was Dicks. I'm sure everyone was far too proper (and innocent) to snigger at the wedding vows though. Unbelievably, at junior school I think we shared a school run with the Going family for a while. I'd love to get married and lose my surname in many ways - but only to someone with a normal name!

Emma Fifty-Y-S-K-A-V-A. If I had a penny for every time I've had to spell my surname, well, yous know how the saying goes... I recollect my first proper name lures people into a false sense of security and them BAM I hit them with a surname like Lyskava (luh-skaa-va). I used to wish that I had an easy to spell English language surname as I got sick of spelling it out and felt embarrassed for those who stumbled across all the consonants which the Polish linguistic communication is so fond of, just now I rather like it. Information technology'due south interesting and unlike and I don't want to become rid of it if/when I ally.

I'm a journalist currently writing for Kerrang! magazine with the last proper noun Longbottom. I was torn between using a pen name and using my own proper noun. Ultimately used my ain name as information technology'south distinctive and I feel a sense of family pride/heritage every time I come across it in print.

My surname is i that, as a male child, I vowed that I would have changed the second my grandparents died - I didn't want them to know how difficult it was growing up with it. Originating from Republic of malta, where the name is an incredibly common one with no stigma (it doesn't accept the feminine border to Sultan as carried by the name elsewhere in the world), to have information technology transposed to the Britain where jibes and insults are racked up in the multitude meant a trying babyhood for my brother and I. My brother changed schools on a couple of occasions to avert bullying. Thankfully, this experience has hardened both his and my mental attitude to such behaviour and, equally a young man, my brother became physically able to dissuade any such assaults. I went the other way and tried to make calorie-free of my surname first, undercutting any attacks, with that want to go along anyone I met comfortable with my proper noun, leading eventually condign a DJ and entertainer. In my early-thirties, my name became something I was comfy with - although I felt especially guilty when it was one I and so bestowed on my wife, two years ago. I take no thought what to say to my children when I eventually have them almost their own experiences, I really don't.

Leonard Sultana, Cleckheaton, Westward Yorkshire

Having the surname "Beauchamp" - pronounced "Beecham" - has caused me no end of grief. My family unit and I are all used to spelling information technology out for people and correcting those who attempt to pronounce it in a French mode. The proper noun has been in England since around 1066 and the pronunciation has obviously changed since so, simply I have had people contend with me, at length, that I pronounce my own surname wrong. My latest response is to tell them that if yous ask a taxi driver to go to Beauchamp Place in London past pronouncing it in a French manner, they won't take a inkling where you mean. My family unit are descendants of the Beauchamp who was imprisoned in the Belfry of London, and afterwards had the Tower named after him. I like information technology equally a name - it's an interesting historical name, with a coat of arms and a motto which is always nice to accept - but I exercise wish people would stop "correcting" me on how to pronounce it!

Not and then much an unusual surname (although it is), just a deadening combination of first and surnames. Everyone thinks they are the funny when they they jokingly enquire "George *the* Forth?", presumably not considering that I accept heard that regularly throughout my entire life. Over 30 years of people thinking they are punning originally is incredibly tiresome. But not every bit tiresome as my school's eccentric music teacher who thought it tremendously amusing to say at to the lowest degree twice a year (or more than - it certainly felt similar it): "Get forth and multiply, he said, simply he came 5th and lost." Even spelling it out is a pain - "Is that Fourth like the number?" "No, information technology'southward Forth like the bridge." "What...?" You'd remember the Along Bridge was well known - I assure you there is a significant proportion of the (admittedly younger) population who have no idea what I'k talking nigh.

I was born in Denmark, and so Helle was not unusual. All the same, I married an American named Jack Berry - now people await Halle Berry. Has non been funny for a long time. When people see my proper noun, I ordinarily say "Yes, it is really my proper name."

Helle K Berry, Racine, WI, Usa

I'm Neven Salom - my surname is Salom, as you can see. Not the most unusual of surnames, but not the most common either, especially for a Bosnian, that isn't Jewish, or religious at all, like me. I'k half Christian and half Jewish through blood, just agnostic and spiritual personally. In short, I describe myself as a "Bosnian born Brit". I observe my surname funny, and and then do others, and it's always a good and funny way of starting a conversation with someone, especially if you but met them. I say "Shalom", sometimes, when joking around with friends and people. Some people, such as at work, actually call back that you pronounce my surname equally "Shalom", instead of "Salom", which can be bad-mannered, which can get a tad irritating, frustrating and tiresome (explaining) at times, but it's a low number of people, and I just try to retrieve of the funny side.

Neven Salom, Cricklewood, London, England, United kingdom

My surname is my married name. I married and actually changed my proper name from Thomas to Rosbottom. My hubby and I come from the same boondocks and I've found out that our surname is one which is very local to Wigan. At that place aren't many of united states of america virtually and in fact, there is a Rosbottom Facebook folio upon which, someone asked if anyone had ever met another Rosbottom to whom they weren't related. When I asked my married man, he said that he hadn't. Nosotros are a dwindling brood as at least one of my married man's cousins has changed his surname so that his family unit wouldn't - and I'yard paraphrasing here - have to go through what he'd gone through as a child. The odd thing was, when we emigrated to the Usa, I found a whole batch of Rosbottoms living within twenty miles of u.s.a.!

Catherine Rosbottom, Louisville, KY, U.s. (but originally from Wigan, Lancashire)

gibbshatioul.blogspot.com

Source: https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-18773088

Share this post